I know not whether I want you to ring....
You see... if you don't ring... then the guy who said he would call me is ditching me... and thus I will be pretty hurt...
But for if you do ring, then I have to answer it and make conversation over the phone... which I am terrible at doing with guys I am interested in... and then be filled with regret after making a terrible excuse and hanging up...
so cell phone, I am staring at you... with vomit in my esophagus... and I don't know if I want you to ring
Posted by Smash at 6:19 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Spicey
Dear reader, I feel I must post a disclaimer
This is so so ..... feminine and a bit of an overshare
I was cooking today... making homemade jalapeno poppers...
so in prep, i was cutting and seeding jalapenos...
and everyone knows after handing these peppers, it is time to wash up, and not touch your eyes... i made the mistake of only washing once and then taking out my contacts one time, and it was painful.
but today i did something much much worse....
i washed up, and went to the bathroom... to change my tampon
not thinking anything of it, i changed, peed, washed, and went back to it...
but then i felt it... the burn...
the capzasin from the pepper oil was.... down there
omg... so much pain, dear reader...
things i have learned: don't let a guy eat mexican before foreplay (yeah right... im celibite), ghonnorhea is likely worse and i have learned a valuable protection lesson
This is so so ..... feminine and a bit of an overshare
I was cooking today... making homemade jalapeno poppers...
so in prep, i was cutting and seeding jalapenos...
and everyone knows after handing these peppers, it is time to wash up, and not touch your eyes... i made the mistake of only washing once and then taking out my contacts one time, and it was painful.
but today i did something much much worse....
i washed up, and went to the bathroom... to change my tampon
not thinking anything of it, i changed, peed, washed, and went back to it...
but then i felt it... the burn...
the capzasin from the pepper oil was.... down there
omg... so much pain, dear reader...
things i have learned: don't let a guy eat mexican before foreplay (yeah right... im celibite), ghonnorhea is likely worse and i have learned a valuable protection lesson
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Finally, A Warm Day, and a Pile of Confusion
I love that first warm day of the year, when you head outside and see all the happy people... confused as hell.
Some may see sunshine, some may see smiles, but I see a sea of morons. A Quarter the people are girls in tiny dresses shivvering behind their gigantic sunglasses. A quarter of them are girls in winter coats, sweating, but marching confidently. And the other half are guys in shorts.... as soon as it's slightly warm, all the guys put on their shorts. I guess it's so they can avoid washing their pants... that or they prefer to feel freeeee
Some may see sunshine, some may see smiles, but I see a sea of morons. A Quarter the people are girls in tiny dresses shivvering behind their gigantic sunglasses. A quarter of them are girls in winter coats, sweating, but marching confidently. And the other half are guys in shorts.... as soon as it's slightly warm, all the guys put on their shorts. I guess it's so they can avoid washing their pants... that or they prefer to feel freeeee
What's In a Name?
Unfortunately, more than you think
I met a guy at the bar this weekend... seemingly decent. I am not one for bar pickups, but every girl likes to be told "you are beeeauuutiful" even if it is through drunk lips and eyes. Whatever... he had all of the superficial qualities I look for in a potential... but I couldn't get past his name
Alberto
Ah-bayre-toe
I was waiting for him to stop buying drinks and then wash my hair and show me how shiney it could be.
I couldn't imagine calling mumsy and popsicle "yes, I am bringing him home. Al-bayrrrre-toe"
I'm shallow
I met a guy at the bar this weekend... seemingly decent. I am not one for bar pickups, but every girl likes to be told "you are beeeauuutiful" even if it is through drunk lips and eyes. Whatever... he had all of the superficial qualities I look for in a potential... but I couldn't get past his name
Alberto
Ah-bayre-toe
I was waiting for him to stop buying drinks and then wash my hair and show me how shiney it could be.
I couldn't imagine calling mumsy and popsicle "yes, I am bringing him home. Al-bayrrrre-toe"
I'm shallow
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Parking Lot Wars
Today, for a change, I was cutting it close with time on my way to class.
I sped like a motherfucker, (which for me means going over the speed limit and maybe passing a slow moving truck if I feel confident enough)and made it to the gigantic (and always full) parking lot with hardly minutes to spare. I arrived at the exact same time as another car, dear reader, one with a guy who also seemed to be concerned with his lack of time. The two of us sped around each aisle, skipping one to avoid each other, and narrowly avoiding head on collisions when we ended up in the same aisle. Then I saw what was a glorious being... a glowing "pull through" parking spot... two spots back to back which would allow me to pull all the way through and not have to back out on my way out. With a smug grin I pulled through the first spot, on my way to the second, and then another car came behind me to get take the empty spot which would be behind me. At the same time, dear reader, my nemesis automobile came flying into my pull through space from the other side. I sat there and waved my finger like a female action star at a lame karate scene when the guy tries to kick her in the face. Then I grinned as he backed away and he drove off into the spaceless parking lot. I got you good, you motherfucker.:D
I sped like a motherfucker, (which for me means going over the speed limit and maybe passing a slow moving truck if I feel confident enough)and made it to the gigantic (and always full) parking lot with hardly minutes to spare. I arrived at the exact same time as another car, dear reader, one with a guy who also seemed to be concerned with his lack of time. The two of us sped around each aisle, skipping one to avoid each other, and narrowly avoiding head on collisions when we ended up in the same aisle. Then I saw what was a glorious being... a glowing "pull through" parking spot... two spots back to back which would allow me to pull all the way through and not have to back out on my way out. With a smug grin I pulled through the first spot, on my way to the second, and then another car came behind me to get take the empty spot which would be behind me. At the same time, dear reader, my nemesis automobile came flying into my pull through space from the other side. I sat there and waved my finger like a female action star at a lame karate scene when the guy tries to kick her in the face. Then I grinned as he backed away and he drove off into the spaceless parking lot. I got you good, you motherfucker.:D
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
This is what anger feels like
If I open my eyes any wider
I think I’ll go blind with rage
And if I move my mouth any faster
I think missiles will engage
And if I spread my wings any wider
I think my arms will break
So do me this small favor
And tell me I’ve got it made
I think I’ll go blind with rage
And if I move my mouth any faster
I think missiles will engage
And if I spread my wings any wider
I think my arms will break
So do me this small favor
And tell me I’ve got it made
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